Hypocracy in a veil of self-Deception

The case of such foolish men is like that of a person, who may have heard that alchemy is better than gold...and who not having known alchemy goes about hungry and wretched (having rejected a treasure) , feeling proud and boasting at the same time of having proclaimed to the public that alchemy is better than gold.

- "The Alchemy of HAppiness" -AL-Ghazzali (Mirza Qalich Baig's translation)

Life.

I Fight sleep, lest I miss something
something as important as... Life!

It's strange...these few past days have been the most meloncholic in a very long time.

School, the past winter....the past day. strange.

Mad: Fuzzy!!!! This is a hard testimonial to write cause the more I think about it the more I know I will forget to mention essential elements that need to be addressed here and I don’t want to do that because the world of orkut and the world in general need to know how huge this one personality is and for those people who don’t know her all I have to say to them is: YOU NEED TO BE ACQUAINTED WITH THIS PERSON AND NEED TO DEPOSIT YOUR CONFIDENCE IN HER IF IT’S THE LAST THING YOU DO! An adhesive in life which will never give way no matter what test life will fling at you. She will do everything necessary to make sure she is there for everyone who will ask for her help in the slightest. I don’t know how she does this, sixth sense perhaps, but she can always (damn well!) tell if someone needs spirit lifting and she will very masterfully tackle with their problems that the other individual wouldn’t even comprehend she’s helped them which by far is the most purest form of helping others. Ingredients like Fuz make this

Mad: a dazzling place to be a part of. People like Fuz don’t have a bad side to them so rest assure you will never get into trouble with her. A very unique individual with an incredible sense of humour and I salute her. Go on dude rule the world, it’s your paradise!

The Third Dimension

And so it is...
Love spoils. There seem to be two dimensions to life.No, perhaps 3.
The first that defines the "good life" and the second that spells misery.
The third is completely at odds with the first two, and so much more interesting:
people don't matter. emotions play a minimal role. lust is cancelled out by intellect. relations play a minimal role. expectations become extinct.
and no that's not extremism, over-reliance on these very ideas seems extremist to me!
...and so it is. here's to new existence!

7th Oct. First flight to London.

Temperature

It feels as if I've got the gist. But somehow the finger keeps pointing back at me..and Im tired. Im tired of wanting to change, of wanting to stop being myself.

The Truth of my existence: I've tried to be what I thought I should be..trampling, in the process every atom of what I could be...and I've failed..yet this realization brings another accusation with it...and Im tired.

The thought of not being responsible for some of the greater misfortunes is comforting, but is it "right"?

Exhausted.

White Flag, DiDo

And when we meet

Which I'm sure we will

All that was there

Will be there still

I'll let it pass

And hold my tongue

And you will think

That I've moved on....

The New Day (Thu 7th Sept)

I be TA today!

"Turn around and ask the TA!" That's mee!!! =D

I feel I'm changing, a lot more open to the variations in life than I hoped I'd ever be. Not life but people. A lot more willing to experiment, with people. A lot more available for life! yes. thats exactly what I meant to say, a lot more eager to dive into a sea-load of work and come out triumphant! yay. that's me.

It hasn't stopped raining in twelve hours now...

I wish I could put this feeling in words. This inordinately sullen yet ecstatic, fresh yet routine feeling that keeps recurring in my thoughts and urges all five senses to rush outside and hug the run. yEs. Hug it with all five!

Its transformed my formerly vacant-looking window into an opening to the "secret garden" where theres much in store for everyone. Theres the ever-present drip-drop sound of water tickles (rain drops) and the wet street light.. and in my garden...the dripping wrought iron chairs that have now come of age, so much so that even its owners think twice before seating themselves on 'em =]

I've never been able to come to a decision as to the "right" kinda music to listen to when the weather is perfect...

I don't know..no matter how low I feel..the rain seems to be calling out to me..to join the race..to pick up the broken pieces..to join lost ends to their beginnings...to start over..to start afresh...

I cannot seem to even conceive this mystery in full...What is it about rain?

Howcome I'm not sick of it yet? Why is it that I gaze at it for hours but there is still another minute of mystic pleasure to it?

Got to go catch the last slice of Pizza from the Kitchen! At least I know the right kind of food to eat ;]